tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-827192023944829664.post4288372875118306469..comments2024-03-13T06:39:33.807+01:00Comments on LOVEanon: What About The Good Men?Michael J. Oghiahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07115199986068295818noreply@blogger.comBlogger10125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-827192023944829664.post-10734851388848483802022-06-25T22:33:58.397+02:002022-06-25T22:33:58.397+02:00Get in touch with the police or Therapist Cincinna...Get in touch with the police or <a href="https://www.lifesuccesscounseling.com/" rel="nofollow">Therapist Cincinnati</a> or crisis center for immediate assistance. Finding an expert should be the sole preparation required for married life treatment. You may request a referral to a specialist from your primary care physician.Dannyhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/11519512410080857061noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-827192023944829664.post-89064058708573607232019-12-10T05:50:03.973+01:002019-12-10T05:50:03.973+01:00loolooWilliam Jessiehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/09323510149289387256noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-827192023944829664.post-44943863725923482612018-10-17T14:13:17.402+02:002018-10-17T14:13:17.402+02:00I likewise utilize the pocket to keep a gold dolla...I likewise utilize the pocket to keep a gold dollar coin amid my more drawn out runs. At that point, I have cash with me for my water stops. <a href="https://chalfin.co.uk/" rel="nofollow">Traditional Boxer Shorts</a><br />Jennethttps://www.blogger.com/profile/07639742669691521251noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-827192023944829664.post-24966851271741310072013-01-10T14:46:35.425+01:002013-01-10T14:46:35.425+01:00Thank you so much! I really appreciate your kind w...Thank you so much! I really appreciate your kind words. Yes, I can see why it was a bit of a stretch to connect the two, but it was for a larger purpose and that was to highlight how gender violence IS connected to masculinity. And that's seemingly universal across cultures.<br /><br />But thank you for understanding the message behind this post, and the way it affected you is very flattering, but equally as humbling for me.<br /><br />Give them a chance though! We have to start changing our perception of this concept! If a guy's talking to you, obviously they think you're wonderful and attractive! <br /><br />I really appreciate it, and hope that you'll always ask a question or foster a discussion if you ever want to talk! LOVEanon is here for people like you :)Michael J. Oghiahttps://www.blogger.com/profile/07115199986068295818noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-827192023944829664.post-78497582172168299432013-01-10T10:59:29.906+01:002013-01-10T10:59:29.906+01:00Oghie,
I spent a lot of thoughts on this article. ...Oghie,<br />I spent a lot of thoughts on this article. Frankly, I think it is far-fetched to link the Indian tragedy with Western dating behaviour. However, I really REALLY liked what you wrote about nice guys and how they are perceived in our society. It actually made me think about my own perception of nice guys when it comes to dating. Somehow - and I really haven't realized that until now - when I meet a nice potential partner who signals interest in me I consider him to be either weak or desperate. This sounds really stupid, I know, but I never thought about it before. It must be linked to a low self esteem, like 'only desperate guys who would take anyone are nice to me' or 'I don't deserve to be treated nicely'. So, thank you for writing this post that made me reflect my own behaviour.<br />And - last but not least - I will definitely try to give nice guys (regardless of their role) a bigger part in my life!Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-827192023944829664.post-87643531860562638052013-01-07T02:36:09.250+01:002013-01-07T02:36:09.250+01:00I really want to emphasize that it's not just ...I really want to emphasize that it's not just about giving nice guys a chance. It's more about how it's actually looked down-upon to be a good man if you critically look at popular discourse. It is largely societies fault. We celebrate hyper-masculinity and people like Pick-Up Artists and Tucker Max. We emasculate guys for being sweet and having sensitive sides. Actions reinforce this undermining as well. And so then, when we're sitting around asking why sexual assault happens, we automatically blame the victim. Obviously, this is ridiculous. But do we ever ask, how could have we better prevented it in the first place?? THAT'S what's missing.Michael J. Oghiahttps://www.blogger.com/profile/07115199986068295818noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-827192023944829664.post-29715360963557061722013-01-05T20:43:12.050+01:002013-01-05T20:43:12.050+01:00Lori, thank YOU for reading!
Yeah, I feel like on...Lori, thank YOU for reading!<br /><br />Yeah, I feel like on a personal or individual level, it's somewhat of a selfish paradox for many women. Keep our good guy friends just friends, or date them? Sleep with them? Neither? Life presents a lot of schizophrenia with what you want. <br /><br />I definitely understand your point about being suspicious of intentions. Does a guy actually have good intentions? Or ulterior motives? I get that. And I also get the whole "bad boys are attractive" thing, especially because of confidence. What if you broke their confidence though? And refused to give in to them? I guess, see past their macho-confident exterior and see them for who they are. Maybe they are deeper, often they are not. There's also the awkward "should I tell her I like her or not?" Research shows that males typically express feelings for a woman more than a female friend reciprocates. So, it can also be a "damned if you do, damned if you don't" scenario--for both parties sometime. <br /><br />Of course, this is why in almost every post, I refer to the concept of loving yourself (see: No Man is an Island). Being a "good guy" or a "nice guy" doesn't also automatically make someone less confident, weak, shy, or indecisive. And that's also what I think needs to change: the way we conceive these terms, the way we conceptualize them, frame them in our heads and in our discourse. There are some inherent assumptions we all make about these people and these terms, and they are often expressed unintentionally or unconsciously. <br /><br />I'm generalizing a bit too much though now, I don't want to focus on why people go for whom. In the context of preventing rape and sexual assault, I think it's important to just reinforce that there are so many good guys out there that do not condone the activities of many of our fellow man. And also, they don't get enough credit, love, affection, admiration, or respect from anyone--especially society--for being good men. In fact, they are often castigated for it.<br /><br />I'm not saying it's anyone's fault in particularly. Nor was I trying to say that everyone should just start dating these men. I'm just saying give them some respect! <br /><br />It's time for our focus to change on what is considered valuable, desired, and important. And hyper-masculinity is NOT that! It only leads to more hurt and more pain for everyone.Michael J. Oghiahttps://www.blogger.com/profile/07115199986068295818noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-827192023944829664.post-25680271631565524712013-01-05T17:39:30.557+01:002013-01-05T17:39:30.557+01:00These are some interesting thoughts that I hadn...These are some interesting thoughts that I hadn't considered before! Thanks for sharing. It is a good point that good men need encouragement to keep being good, because so many amazing men question themselves and wonder if they should change to have chances with more women, and certainly, many of us women wouldn't want that change. <br /><br />I wonder if part of the problem comes from the fact that sometimes, women don't know WHY a guy is being 'good.' (I'll go with your definition of him seeing a woman as more than sex and having a set of honorable values.) Girls wonder: is he being good because he's not that interested, he is too shy, he doesn't know what he wants, he was damaged in some past relationship, etc... I read another article recently about why girls go for bad guys (go figure), and it said that it has a lot to do with their confidence. Bad boys seem to know what they want and girls like that. Plus, because of circumstances in girls' lives, they may also desire being wanted. So the bad boy's behavior becomes doubly attractive.<br /><br />Personally, since I happen to know what I want (not just in relationships, but many things), I want a guy who also knows what he wants, while also being wise enough to not be a know-it-all. (Tall order, maybe.) And I truly think that if I could see a good guy being decisive and strong, I would respect that so much. It may be hard for the good guys, to showcase what they're all about. Yet, I think if they were clearer about it, it would come across really positively to girls. Example sentence a guy could say to a girl to let her know that he’s into her without sleazily putting his hands all over her: "You make it hard for me to not think about sex, ya know, since you're clearly awesome and I'm smart, but... don't worry. I promise I won't put any drugs in your drink." Lol. I guess you could tweak that a little. My point is... There is a way for good guys to tell a girl how much he's into her in a non-aggressive, confident way. If a good guy is keeping ALL of his thoughts to himself, that may be the reason that a girl's not taking notice of him....<br />Lorihttps://www.blogger.com/profile/03674560351251386180noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-827192023944829664.post-45651684408750406052013-01-05T15:32:48.887+01:002013-01-05T15:32:48.887+01:00Thank you so much, I really appreciate it! I was w...Thank you so much, I really appreciate it! I was worried my thoughts were a bit unorganized or random/incoherent. But what you said is exactly what I'm trying to warn against. Not just the fact that many men are trying to NOT be themselves in order to appear more attractive or desirable, but society actively discourages men from being this "nice guy." <br /><br />And, yes! You also keep doing your part to encourage your guy friends to be true to who they are, and encourage your girl friends to avoid hypocrisy or to really give that guy a chance that could treat her so well.<br /><br />Thank you for reading :)Michael J. Oghiahttps://www.blogger.com/profile/07115199986068295818noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-827192023944829664.post-13273996905351707002013-01-05T15:28:11.420+01:002013-01-05T15:28:11.420+01:00This is a wonderful post. As a woman I've been...This is a wonderful post. As a woman I've been struggling with this conflict in my life lately. I try to encourage my male friends and family members to look past this "nice guys finish last" persona but it's becoming difficult. Because there is so much negative connotation with being a "nice guy" they're beginning to act out as the opposite. I have a very specific friend who, because he has failed at dating lately, has decided to give up on his true self because he thinks that's how he can attract girls. It's awful. I know I will continue to do my part to encourage those around me to become a part of the solution. Great post! :)Anonymousnoreply@blogger.com